I Was Homeless And Lived In My Car
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I was Homless And Lived In My Car
This is a true story. My husband and I were homeless and lived in our car, a storage unit, and a tent for over two years. We were not homeless because we were alcoholics or drug users. We were the average young couple working hard, just trying to make it. Never did we think we could end up without a roof over our heads.
At the time, I was collecting worker's compensation due to a back injury. Six weeks after I hurt my back, my husband was involved in a serious car accident, which left him severely injured and unable to work. If only we had disability insurance, all would have been well. However, being young and carefree we laughed at the thought of buying something like disability insurance. Surely, that was for someone older with more responsibilities. Boy, would we ever live to regret that decision!
With worker's compensation being only 300.00 a week, it soon became clear that we could not pay for both of our vehicles and keep up with the other bills too. We quickly sold one vehicle, not making any kind of a profit, and still owing several thousand dollars in the end. Even after that, it was not possible to pay our rent and keep the vehicle we did have, which was a newer used SUV. Not wanting to lose the SUV, we decided to move out of our apartment, store our furniture, and live in our SUV. It was a gut wrenching decision at a time when the comfort of a home was much needed, but we simply had no choice.
At the time, my back was so bad that I could not even stand up straight. I walked around hunched over in horrific pain. It turned out that I had two herniated disks in the lowest area of the spine. My husband was suffering from severe headaches due to neck and back injuries from the car accident. Even though the accident was not his fault we would have to wait for a settlement before there was even money to pay for medical bills. It was a complete and total nightmare situation. My mind reeled in disbelief. How did this happen? We were HOMELESS, through no fault of our own. I was brought up to believe that if you worked hard and kept your nose to the grind stone this could not happen, but it was happening, and it was happening to me.
With millions of people losing their homes every year, I know that many of those people will become homeless. Homeless through no fault of their own, just like me, but homeless just the same. The good thing is we had no children, just one faithful little dog. I cringe to think of the people who are homeless and have children. Living homeless could scar a child for life.
At first we slept in our SUV, but as winter approached it was becoming more difficult. Then one day when we were visiting our storage unit we decided it would be a safe and warm place to sleep. Our bed was stored there already, so in no time at all, I had the storage unit turned into a bedroom of sorts. It felt so good just to be able to stretch out on a real bed for a change. That night my husband and I slept better than we had in the last few months.
After that, little by little our mini storage unit became our home. We got away with it because it was located in a remote area with few people around. We kept a low profile just the same, and made sure evidence of our existence was not found. As months rolled by and no one became the wiser, we became bolder. We lined the storage unit with insulation, and got a kerosene heater to stay warm. We had to make sure to crack the door, it was probably a very dangerous thing to do, but at the time we were so cold that we threw caution to the wind. The second winter we got an electric heater and plugged it into an outside electrical outlet, praying no one would notice the increase on their electric bill. Before long we even had a mini refrigerator for our food.
As spring turned into summer the mini storage shed started to feel like an oven, we knew we had to find a different place to live. We bought a tent and pitched it in a secluded area, and during the summer months we lived there. It was not as comfortable as the storage shed, but it was nicer to be in, because we could see outside. We bought a few air mattresses to sleep on, and a small grill to cook on. To be honest, I never want to go camping again. When big storms rolled in we had to flee for the safety of our vehicle, and hope that a stray tornado did not come our way. Bad weather is hard on the homeless, no matter if it is summer or winter, one is exposed to the elements.
Little by little we were trying to save money so we could get an apartment again, however there was no place we could afford and pay our bills too. And we also had to find a place that would take pets. Our dog was a great source of comfort through the entire homeless ordeal. We were getting used to our lifestyle and it was not all that bad, it was kind of like an adventure. We had a rain barrel and in the morning, summer warmed rain was what I used to wash my face and hair in. That did not work so well in the winter. We took showers at a local truck stop. No one would have guessed we were homeless by looking at us. Being avid readers, we enjoyed the endless reading hours at our disposal. We hung out a lot at local libraries for a change of scenery and the newest book releases.
You are probably wondering why we didn't go to family or friends for help. Our families lived in a different state and to this day they have no idea what we went through, and we certainly did not tell them. We were embarrassed. We avoided our friends for that reason also. Besides, our friends had their own financial problems. We knew we made a huge mistake by not having disability insurance, we just had to learn our lesson, live one day at a time, and hope for better things to come.
Our homeless days finally ended when I got on social security disability and my husband
received a settlement from the car accident he was in. We did not rush out and buy a house right away, we took our time and made sure we got a home we could afford if the unthinkable happened. That meant we could pay for taxes, insurance and upkeep, even if we both became disabled again and no money was coming in. We did not get our "dream house", but we did get a house that we could honestly afford. A dream house is anything but that if you have no peace of mind and are worried all the time how you are going to pay for it. That is not a dream house, that is a nightmare house.
To this day, I remember my homeless days more vividly than any other event of my life. I remember the total fear and horror of not having enough money to continue in a
lifestyle I was accustomed to. However in the end I learned lessons about life that I feel are invaluable. I see people going out on a limb financially and I just want to shake them to wake them up, but I know this is a lesson that each person must learn on their own. It is very, very easy to slip into a homeless state, more now than ever as the US economy implodes. People have no idea how close to homelessness they really are.
One other thing I tell people and that is, get yourself some disability insurance. No young couple would think of being without life insurance, but they feel as if they do not need disability insurance. All it takes is a minor car accident and not being able to work for a few months for people to lose their homes and vehicles and ruin their credit. And, the clincher is ....disability insurance it not even all that expensive and you can buy it right over your computer.
Being homeless was interesting in many ways, but I would never want to go through it again. I feel sorry for homeless people, even when they have no one to blame but themselves. With the mortgage debacle I have a feeling we will be seeing more and more homeless people in America. It is a very sad and distressing situation.
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This is a wonderful hub filled with many great lessons of life.
I'm sure you have a ton of new revelations you got from this experience and I hope you will not mind an if older fellow life traveler adds a couple of lessons he learned which relate to your experience.
Please take all of this as a sharing of ideas geared at helping all who stumble here.
1st Pride causes much unneeded anxiety and suffering. I totally understand and have been there myself BUT Know this lesson, your friends and family would have loved to help. An excellent method of getting over this pride could be to make a very expensive pact with yourself. Decide to spend your life paying 1000% back in a Pay It Forward method. It will take a lifetime to repay and will bring all the loss pride back plus more than you can ever deal with.
2. Be glad you live in today's world. A slim 3 generations ago the experience you described would be considered a luxury. Perception is everything, from the way you wrote the pride that showed through proved you would not be there long.
3. Always use ingenuity, it can make any situation better. Never stop using your mind to improve your life. Don't ever accept unpleasant circumstances as the only alternative. You can accomplish miracles if you only try.
4. Perseverance, Keep your dreams large and your goals as small steps to those dreams. Every journey needs a destination but also needs a map to every turn along the way.
5. Don't ever pity others on different paths. Share your knowledge, share you food and lodging but never share your pity. Everyone deserves the respect to be allowed to follow their own path even if you don't like the looks of it.
Just a few lessons i learned the hard way.
I hope you and others might get something from them.
Thanks for your words of wisdom Health Conscious. You are right about pride, it can be a difficult thing to live with. You are also right about perspective. Even the poorest people live better than kings and queens of centuries past! With the economy imploding, more and more people are going to have to change the way they live and think, and not feel unhappy if they cannot afford things they think they need to have, but don't.
Wow! What an intense story! I'm sure that situation will leave lasting impressions and it sounds like you still have a great perspective on life despite that hard time. I'm very impressed!
Thank you NC Tower! Yes, the lessons I learned when I was "homeless" are still with me, and they probably always will be. I am just grateful I had no children at the time. Even though I was homeless, we still had an income from worker's compensation. To live that way, with no money at all...I cannot even begin to imagine how people do it. For those who are homeless because of alcohol and drugs, I would think it is harder to live homeless that it would be to cut back on the drugs and alcohol and seek employment. But that is just me, many who are homeless consider it a lifestyle choice. They do not want any responsibility for anything. Some actually feel as if they are more "free" by being homeless.
What scares me is when I see families being homeless, you know that is not by choice. With the mortgage meltdown there are already tent cities of people who lost their homes. I feel so bad for the children, and the parents too. I know some people were greedy, but a good many others probably did not realize that their housepayment would double in 2 years. These people put good money down that the banks now have, with their houses. I think there should be a law that says if there are children in the family, they cannot take that house away. Children should not have to live homeless.
I am sure this was a hard story to tell, but thank you for sharing it, Magnoliazz. I can imagine how scared you must have been. The struggle and wait people have to go through to get SSDI is inhumane and cruel. And nowadays, although I think Obama is good person at heart and will be a good president, it angers me when he says the economy is improving. The tent cities are growing. I wonder if his children were sleeping on the floor of a tent if he would think the economy was getting better. It's scarey for adults; can you imagine the fear in their little hearts when the people they depend on can't make it through no fault of their own. And of course, most people think it won't happen to them until it actually does.
God bless you. I am glad you and your husband are doing better now.
That is a very touching, it sure makes one think about every homeless persons circumstances. I read where 25% of our homeless are vets. That is a sad commentary on our society, we are so willing to help others out, but hang our own citizens out to dry. God bless you and your husband.
I'm a disabled vet and unemployed...It scares me to think of those who have no address. No address means no check.
Use a friend's address.....
Amazing truths. People at large don't realize how many people are living in situations just like the one you describe - or worse. It's the human condition to suffer, and the human reaction to love; that's why, I'm afraid, there are many inhuman people roaming the world today.
Being homeless and down and out made me a stronger person and I am happy I went through that now. I was very arrogant too, I had no sympathy for people until I ended up down and out and homeless. I think God wanted to teach me a lesson, a lesson I needed.
I used a friend's address to get on SS, otherwise I would have been out of luck there too, that law should be changed also. Not everyone is trying to pull a fast one over the government.
Magnoliazz, I hadn't been to your hub in a while and wanted to check back. WOW!, you and your husband are true survivors. The fact you never gave in and continued to fight the hand you had been dealt is a great example of willpower. It's an inspiring and alarming story. All of us could be in that same situation with just a couple unexpected problems. Thanks for the wake up call!
Carson Creek, thanks for your kind comments. You GET it! That is why I bared my soul and wrote this piece in the first place, so that others don't have to go through what I did!
I will never over extend myself financially again, although at the time, I was like a deer in the headlights, I had no idea at all that I could end up in dire circumstances.
I tell everyone to make sure to get disability insurance, most people I know still do not have it.
And remember, even when I was homeless, I still had an income and resources, some people have NOTHING! How they will ever be able to have a normal life again is beyond me, I feel really bad for those people.
I am not easily moved by tears, but your story was a tear jerker...thanks for sharing, it must not have been easy to tell. Kudos to you for sharing that and your writing skills.
Thanks Markminer-
It was not easy to tell because I have a lot of pride, however, I don't want other people to have to go through what I did, so....I tell the story and hope they will be able to learn from it.
All in all, I know I am a survivor and no matter what happens, I will find a way to deal with it. It made me a 100% stronger than if I never went through it.
Hello,
I read your posting. It was quite moving. I dont use drugs or alchohol and I am college educated and not crazy but I will be homeless for a month right now. I was renting a room in the city I work in, but now I am going to be sleeping in my car until January 10 due to my paycheck being short 6 days, I get payed by the day. Its December 14 today. I am too embarassed to tell my friends. My boyfriend doesn't know, I won't tell him. No one will be able to tell because I will shower at the gym, do my laundry at the laundrymat. I tried to let my parents know about the situation, they do not understand. I showed them the proof that my paycheck was missing 6 days, but yet, no compassion, they let me sleep their two days. My mother is mentally ill and wears the pants in the family, so I don't take it personally if they don't understand.
I was looking up on the internet sleeping in your car laws to see if it is illegal for me to sleep in my car. I came across your story. Very moving. Thank you.
Dear Lorena, My heart goes out to you! Yes, in many places it is illegal to sleep in your car. We had an SUV type vehicle, plus we never made it obvious that we were living in our vehicle.
The good thing about getting caught sleeping in your vehicle is that you usually will not get in trouble for it. And....many times the police will even give you a voucher for a motel for a few nights. They certainly are not heartless! You might even want to go right to the police station and ASK if it is okay to sleep in your car for a few weeks. They just might help you out! Of course, I live in the mid-west, things are different in different parts of the country.
Our police HELP out the needy in this area as much as they can. They even pool their money together and take needy children Christmas shopping.
Actually sleeping in a vehicle is not so bad, however being a woman alone you have to be real careful! It is probably not the best idea for you to do. Go and explain to your boyfiend the problems you are having, maybe he will let you stay there.
If worse comes to worse, simply park your car in your parent's driveway and sleep there and leave before they wake up. How can your parents be so cold hearted to complain about that?
Sorry (after skimming some othere comments but) wow! What a story. I'm glad you are on a better side of that tale now. A story of many many people as well I'm sure. Hell, might be my story. My company let me go due to economic downturn (they made over a billion last year as well) last Feb. I can burn savings and money for probably another year but my parents are gone and I wouldn't want to turn to handouts from family either. You frighten me some. We are optimistic as well but that won't pay the mortgage. You seem to be a very kind soul. How horrible to have your pain issues and have to sleep in cars and cold, etc. Again, glad you seem to be doing better now.
Yesterday may significant other were driving into town where we passed one poorly dressed man trying to help another one up off the sidewalk. It was bitterly cold, snowy. And I the only way I thought about stopping to help was not to do it.
The irony is that the day before I was passing out food from the city pantry.
Wow, this is moving. It is very possible that I could be echoing this story right now, except for the support of my family. I've also experienced the pain of an injury, and the subsequent medical expenses, stripping me of everthing. I'm grateful for your strength, which is very evident with how you are now able to touch those in need, and I hope that someday I can also be such an inspiration to others. I sincerely hope that all is well these days for you and your husband, and that God fills you with blessings that could not be without these trials. Thank you for this!
Thanks aim4strz for your comment.
I always pray to God that no other person will have to go through what I did, but I know there are plenty of people out there who do go through even worse. At least I had a small income and a vehicle at the time.
I learned a lot, and I hope I never get into a position like that again, but you just never know what life could bring. I am a lot more careful now, and I think most Americans are learning financial lessons the hard way during these hard times. The superficial things, like acrylic fingernails for instance, things like that which no one in their right mind should be spending money on unless you are a millionarie, and even then, it would be stupid.
This is really special story, Magnoliazz.
It is great that your husband and you managed to stay together. The lessons you learned are incredible as well.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Tatjana-Mihaela~~
Thank you for your comment. When you get into a situation like this, you really find out a lot about yourself and the people you are close to. It made us look at just about everything in a different way.
Hay girl! I am writing a hub on my own time of being Homeless and plan to link that to yours! Thank you for all your feed back and no I am not 80 years old! That is just fictional, even though it is a good metaphor for my life as a Satanist which IS TRUE! It is strange, for I feel that God lead me to write those hubs...That is yet another story!
Thanks HighVoltagewriter! I will link my story to yours too. I can't wait to read it!
I think you should write more about your Satanist days and what lead you out of it.
yes, I kind of thought it was a bit odd that you were 80 years old, and in prison too! LOL!!
Anyway, you are an intense and interesting writer and I look forward to your hubs!
I am originally from WI. I ended up just like you guys did. Except for my car's engine blew up, so I did not have a car to sleep in - it was that winter we had the 84 degrees below wind chill weather. I lived miles away from a bus stop, so could not take the bus to work, plus had unusual work hours, working as an RN at night, pm shifts, etc. I lost all 3 jobs because I could not get there. My parents have lots of money but would not help. In fact they did the opposite. I ended up homeless in the city, and went through a whole lot of very scary situations, including rape at gunpoint several times. I will never forgive my mother for refusing to help me. I do not speak to her anymore. I HATE Wisconsin and will NEVER move back there!
If it had not been for my sister sending me a bus ticket to KY, 13 years ago, I would probably be dead. I am still here. And for anyone who is living in a city, or some place where rents and cost of living is high, move away from there! Come to KY or somewhere else down south where you can live cheaper. I bought a trailer for $3,000 and my lot rent is only $115 a month. A couple of months ago, a cute little house auctioned off at $3,750. Yes, this is the truth! You can live so much more cheaply down here! We are living in hard times.
magnoliazz, you are so right - when you say that going through this makes you realize there are a whole lot of things you DON'T NEED! and can live without! And that you should live as simply and as unencumbered and free of debt as you possibly can. There is nothing wrong with living humbly. At least nobody can take THAT away from you!
Magic Star ER~~
Wow, thanks for posting your own homeless experience here. You had a really awful experience, and here I was feeling sorry for myself!
I always thought the south was expensive to live in, so thanks for setting the record straight. Wis is very expensive living. You cannot get by on less than 1500.00 a month, esp with the high price of heat. We also have sky high property taxes here, some states have no property taxes at all.
I found out that there are so many things that we do not need and they just take up space. Instead of a house loaded with JUNK, I would rather have some extra money for emergencies. I think many Americans are learning this lesson too.
Thanks again for your comment!
I feel your pain, I also was homeless, My husband had an operation and alsmost lost his life and getting kick out of our rented home. No where to go. I need to share this with other's, also. Thank you for sharing this.
Great article Mag, what I want to know is, did your husband and yourself go from homelessness to buying the house with a tree farm? Or was that a few steps inbetween? Anyway, the tree farm sounds like a dream-type situation to me. I hope to convince my wife to try something like that some day ( I would love a 10 acre organic farm) but without some other income stream I'm not sure she'll go for it. Maybe if I ever finish the book I'm threatening to finish that'll make it for us. I truly loved this story, thanks for sharing the ordeal that you and your husband went through, I hope it made your relationship that much stronger.
Yes, Ben, there were a few steps in between there. However, the tree farm is from my family. We have a family compound where my mother and grandmothers live on the farm and me and my husband built another home next to them. At first I did not know if this would work out or not....but it has been over 9 years now, and it has been like a big dream come true! Everyone has truly benefitted from this arrangement. Of course, this would not be for everyone. My being homeless made me appreciate an arranagement like this much more than if I had never had any problems!
this is a moving hub. Nice!
I can certainly relate. After my husband died a couple of years ago, unexpectedly, I went into a deep state of grief nearly dying myself. This left me vulnerable to every vulture around. The bank literally locked me out of my house and stole it. Even after I continued to make the payments. I ended up losing the cars, the money, the beautiful furniture, everything. I gave most of my money and things away though as I always have. I haven't yet recouperated but I can seem to find happiness in whatever situation I find myself in. The lessons are what is important. For me, the lesson was that I couldn't learn what was really important in life if my focus was on accumilating things. Greed and gluttony had to be removed from me. I have to enjoy the journey no matter what, because when I get to the destination, it is over. The journey is what counts.I remember quite vividly sitting in the library reading, with nowhere to go or anyone to turn to. Somehow we always survive and we have to know that we always will.
Thanks for sharing Mag. Of all my relatives, there are only a few that I could share that arrangement with. It seems like there would have to be a fine balancing act between your privacy and sharing time as a large family. I guess if the property is large enough that helps too! Ultimately, if you are someone who appreciates the outdoors, it sounds like a good living environment.
wow , that was quite a hub, found it fasinating how you turned the sorage into a temporary home...just amazing what we can do when life throws its curveballs at us right? glad youre settled these days! and thanks for sharing x
So now I'm beginning to understand a little bit about who you are Magnoliazz... and how you came to be so fragrant... a Goddess. It's more or less the same way that I was formed into me, and a lot of others are being made into them. Being tempered hurts the metal... but the finish is worth the pain. Beautiful writing, flower.
Hello Fen Lander
Thank you so much for your nice comment.
I have found that I learn most from adversity. I just hope that I have most of the difficult life lessons behind me for a while.
I have also found that, no matter who you are, if you live long enough, you will have to suffer in some way.
Mag,
The being young, healthy and not taking the insurance is very familiar. That was me when diagnossed with the worst type of MS, Chronic Progressive.
Thank G-D my wife was offered a job that led to an execttive position. I had the luck you didn't.
Pride can be a bad thing. I'm sure your family and friends would loved to have helped you. Bad luck and illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, your pic says you can get a job as a model.
Hello Harvey, Thank you for your comment. My prayers are with you, and my heart goes out to you. Having a chronic condition is a very difficult ordeal. MS is like having several chronic conditions...all wrapped up in one. I have an idea...somewhat... what you may be going through.
Ever since this back injury...I have been in chronic pain. Being a nurse, I have been lucky that I had other options of employment open to me once I wanted to work part time again.
And...thank you for the nice compliment too!
Mag,
I have been hospitalized many times; why don't my nurses ever look like you? I think that would help in the healing process.
My prayers are with you also, we both know what chronic pain is. I'm sure you've gone to pain clinics and the best orthopods in your area.
If you ever wish to try the best in Chicago, I can get names for you. I have become frind's with a PhD in pain medicine that is one of the tops in the country, he is in the north Chicago suberbs if that helps. If you wish to speak with him write me directly.
Thank you Harvey, I will remember your kind offer, however, I think a ride to Chicago would just about kill me. And...that's the thing I miss most...travel.
But, you just never know...the pain clinics around here are pretty decent, but with the bad economy they don't have as many patiients it seems, so the patients they do have are being put through all kinds of unnecessary tests and procedures so that they can make more money! Sleep studies, psychological studies, more MRIs more, more, more. It makes me angry, because I know what they are doing, and when you are in pain the last thing you need is any extra aggravation. I have a job I am trying to hold down, and I don't have time for all this stuff, unless I am having some kind of problem with sleep or new symptoms that would merit an MRI.
Of course the pain clinics are not the only ones playing these games, the whole medical establishment is guilty of this kind of thing...I hope the new health care plan will eliminate some of this...a lot of money could be saved in the end.
LOL...I am sure you have nice nurses where you are too. Of course the most gorgeous nurses are all in Minnesota, and Wisconsin!
Mag,
If you let me know what city you are near maybe I can get a reccommendation for you. I alway try to help, even if I annoy.
How about a Pretty Nurse Calendar? It has to go over in hospitals and doctor's offices, even if they are hidden. That would be a money making idea for you.
LOL...I think you would like a Naughty Nurse calendar better!!
Mag,
You're putting body parts in mouth! I thought faces would be good, you little minx.
LOL...that's it, I am putting you on the "naughty" list!
Mag,
When younger I was a "Dirty Old Man In Training." Now I'm older!
Don't forget, you started it.
I hope you are in less pain; have you tried Ultram ER? It does help my nerve pain.
Excellent hub! I'm so sorry for your troubles, but you seemed to have grown from them. It's good to see that you've managed to move forward and not get stuck in the trap of homelessness and poverty. Good for you! Thanks for sharing your story, it's an encouragement to others.
been there done that with my wife and son.
many other factors like extreme racial predjudice.
people not wanting to rent to you or increasing the price
of rent or they say that they have a multitude of apps to review.
then there is getting booted all over by the police and told to relocate. or the county services telling you they can't help with the lack of funding. at some point you have to go beyond the basics and demand your way through to create stability.
the sad part is knowing all these banks have empty houses and unwelling to help familys or people that want to do right and try hard to have stability. in the end you put your head down and have to shake off the bitterness and sadness created by the greed of our society and people
we only though we know as our friends.
to most your ok if you fit within their financial status quota or their lifestyle, drugs, lieing ,cheating,stealing.
I say hell with it all move forward Keep it real and disconnect from the darkhearts, the heretics that use
God as their excuse to scam and the non profit fraud schemes. after all ..the system would not exist without
Crime which they create. judges and police would not be
if they cleaned up the system and truly taught morals ..ethics or values
ok back to life. btw.. since this is a replicated site
your only building more links and PR for hubpages. nice
job .. ~ Devhub~ .. free PR and links for them.
and yes my writing is poor but my words and true!
magzz: voted up here again!!
Hey there Magnoliazz. I really admire both you, and your mans tenacity to work things out yourself. Most people would have called thier parents for help right away. This says so much about your character being strong and independent. I am so sorry that you had to go through those bad times, but then I am glad you were able to learn from it also.
Thank you for the hub, prob one of the most honest reads I have found on this site. Wish you the best.
Great story. People do judge the homeless. I'm sure you are both stronger from this and much wiser. I wish you both Good Luck
Hi! Great hub! ...Truly inspiring for others to face the challenges of life!
One fundamental principle of life is... " no state is permanent, so never take anything for granted!"
So no one should take anything for granted...your financial state, your marriage, health...
Many unexpected and unwanted things do happen in life...
The ultimate purpose of life is to make you think and realize the meaning of life and our origin...
All the events that happen in our life directly or indirectly make things in that direction...and ultimately one discovers the truth!
And there is only one truth- absolute reality- God!
Sooner or later we have to discover God! Or we should let God discover us(come into our hearts)
All the events that happen are for the better! -- Thanks
It is a wonderful hub which also illustrates how important a good, strong marrage relationship can be. Very inspiring and impressive how you and he dealt with that kind of adversity.
very touching
This was a very interesting article. Thanks for sharing your story.
This is truly and incredible ordeal you went through. I hear about very difficult situations from the clients I help in bankruptcy. It is very troubling to hear these situations and talk to people who have gone through similar situations. It is also inspiration for me to see how people adjust to these situations and find a way to move forward. Thank you for sharing this.
I won't say that i landed here by accident b/cos i was simply circling like Micky Dee told me from the start,read this hub with tears dropping from my eyes and wonder if this word will ever leave me...
"To this day, I remember my homeless days more vividly than any other event of my life. I remember the total fear and horror of not having enough money to continue in a lifestyle I was accustomed to".
You are an over comer
You are a winner
You are victorious
You are an eagle
Wish you all the best
I looked at it, that I had only one choice, not to be homeless.
I would not give up that experience for anything because I learned so much.
Adversity does build charcter. Now when something bad happens I think, "what can I learn from this?" Adversity is also the best teacher!
I would like to thank everyone for leaving a comment.
I would also like to tell people to always carry disability insurance. Chances are that sometime in your life you will become temporarly disabled, and even if it lasts a few months, you could lose all you have.
Learn from my mistakes!
One saving grace for the both of you. Even though you had no disability insurance, you both had grit and determination not to make being homeless forever. As you mentioned you were not dependent on alcohol or drugs as so many homeless are.
You were put there due to your injuries and not having enough resources to meet your living expenses. So count it as an open window with a view to how homeless live and pray you never have to go through it again.
I know what the mean streets can do to a person, I've seen it and witnessed it. Very ugly at times and life threatening for sure. I am glad you were both young and strong and smart enough to take care of yourselves. Enjoyed this hub, gave people a glimpse into your plight at that time in your life. Peace and hugs
Thank you SaddleRider1 for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Actually, it was hard for me to write this hub. I still feel "embarassed" about being homeless, but I feel I have an obligation to the human race to share this experience. If I can save just one person from going through what I went through, then it is worth it to me.
There is nothing embarassing about not giving up. You did what you had to do, and rose up and overcame your situation like a fighter. Dont feel embarassed, be proud. You and your husband. I guarentee you, after hearing your story, your children will work harder knowing that its not just wino's on the street, its good people in sticky situations.
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me knowing that there are lessons to be learned and value to be gained in even the most difficult situations.
My sons are both in the same situation you were in and I try to be as much help as I can to them but my fixed income doesn't go very far so all I can do is offer the occasional band-aid but no real cure.
It pains me to know that the children I brought into the world are having such a difficult time just surviving.
All that is left for me is the hope that they will find a solution or someone will be compassionate and give them a chance. They both are willing to work but don't get the chance very often.
This is a sad time for many families in situations much like yours. All those of us fortunate enough to have the comforts of home should stop and ascess how it must feel to be in this situation and know that "there but for the grace of God go you and I".
We can all make do with a little less and afford to be generous to those less fortunate. If everyone made do with less many of the now homeless would have a better chance at gaining a step toward making their lives better and more bearable.
I have also been there personally when I was young and a mother of two small boys with no place to live. It's the worst possible situation I could ever have imagined but I came out on the other side stronger and had a better sense of what was truly important in life.
Through out my life I have tried my best to hold on to these values and it made my life the better for it.
Thank you so much for your comment Pink Umbrella. I guess feeling embarrased about being homeless had a lot to do with the way I was brought up. Even today, I still feel embarrassed about that time of my life, because if we had bought diability insurance we would have not been in that situation. In spite of all that, I would not take back those days for anything, because it taught me important lessons about so many other things, and to not judge other people and their circumstances.
Thanks also slock 62 for your moving account of your own experiences with homelessness. My days of homelessness are now a distant memory. It seems like a life time ago now. We have done well since that time and have never slipped through the cracks again, mainly because I have an education and in spite of ongoing health problems, I have been lucky enough to find well paying jobs with employers who understand my health related issues. Would this be the case if I lacked an education? No, I doubt it. I do not even want to think what my life would be like living on social security disability, which is the same as living in poverty.
Five years ago my husband was told he had MS, and within a year after that, he could no longer work. Once again, if I did not have an education, there is no way I could have made up for that income we lost.
What I am trying to say is that nothing is guaranteed in life and nasty, unforeseen things can come your way, even when you think all your bases are covered, sometimes they are not.
An education and good financial planning are the first steps we can take to keep a roof over our heads and a chance at a decent life. You can't let these things fall to chance. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
My prayers are with all those people who have experienced homelessness.
No one in this country, land of plenty should be homeless.
My husband and I went through a financially difficult time as well. We have children -- but thankfully never were without our home. Still, I was embarrassed at one point of our home -- having worked so hard never to endure "poverty" --
I, too, learned much from that season, and am ever so grateful for my home now. I am grateful to be able to buy diapers -- seriously! We are doing well now, but bc of that desparate season, I truly am more appreciative of the small things -- like being able to take my kids for Starbuck's smoothies without stressing. Great hub!
Warm regards~
It sounds like you should have filed bankruptcy and got on social security disability asap. I am glad you found a way. If anyone else has this problem contact a social security attorney, additionally medical debt is discharged in bankruptcy so that is an option as well. Check out our social security blog, we answer many questions about who can and cannot file for social security at http://www.Hoglundlaw.com
Wow, what a powerful story about the human spirit. I am so glad to see a personal hub experience on homelessness because I think so many of us are very naive about how close we all are to homelessness. I have heard it said that most of us are a check or two away from being homeless should something happen. You and your husband are such an inspiration and I love the creative ways you came up with to survive this hard time. I bet a bed in a home is much more meaningful now. Wow, thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am really moved and inspired. UP AWESOME BEAUTIFUL USEFUL
I'm thankful to the fan feature at my side bar. Now it's easier for me to see who are there daily. This way I can check my friends' hubs. So sorry I haven't been around for a while.
I can't imagine how to live if it were me and my husband ending homeless due to the accidents and without insurance to hold on to. I choked and shed tears for you both. But you see, God is good! He was there with you all the time. You didn't give up but tried, the few cheats you did were God's. You see, because you prayed no one noticed his increased electric bill. LOL!
I like your courage and perseverance. You are very honest and sweet. God bless your new home and you!
LITA! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. That time was not easy, but I learned so much. I believe that if you keep your faith in God, that he will help you, and he did. Maybe it was a test of faith. I know I never prayed that much before I was homeless.
These days, I am still so grateful for everything I do have. I thank the Lord every night for the house I live in and the bed I sleep in, I know how easy it can be for all those things to be gone.
I also pray for all those unemployed in this country, I know how scary it is to not know where your next paycheck is coming from, what you will do. Actually, I was lucky when I was homeless because there were very few people like me in my area, so people were not on the lookout if you would hang around your storage shed too much. I am sure things are different around there now.
The government allowed all our jobs to go overseas, and unemployment is their fault. What will ever happen to all the unemployed? Many are older people too, 40-60 years old. They may never have a job again. What then?
I think the gov will have to build some kind of shelter for them. You cannot just let people out in the cold.
My love and my prayer goes to you, your husband and to your faitfull dog.Thank you for this hub.
I learn a lot from your story. I started mountain biking last week. This is a rather extreme sport. I am now thinking of buying an insurance. I also will be more careful while riding my bike on the busy road.
This is a seriously amazing story. As someone with a lot of pride myself, I could completely understand how your family could get into the situation.
I'm so glad that your situation has changed and I feel so grateful for my life after reading your hub!
This is an interesting stories. i like to read true stories. You are a brave girl. I am glad to hear that your situation has changed.
well u have a great interesting life and a lot of hard work to survive in the competition world. Its a different experience all together.
Thank you for sharing this. I respect you and your husband. You stuck through what would have driven some couples apart.
Many people don't realise that they are just one paycheck away from this.
If it has the same name then it is the same car, it's just a different mark. i.e a Mark 1 Golf and a Mark 2 Golf are the same car, but differnet versions.
I like the way you called it an adventure and one you learned from. I salute you with respect and appreciation
You are amazing!
Love - Light - Laughter
Neil
as a young professional, i was given a book on financial planning by a mentor. its strongest message was to get disability insurance. disability is MUCH more likely (something like a 1 in 4 chance) for a young person than death. hope your message will help a few folks. thanks so much for overcoming your embarrassment to get this important message out.
Great Hub. Often I don't get to the end of a Hub this long because the writing is not clear, organized and compelling. Excellent writing and as many have said, an incredible and moving story. I commend you and your husband on your fortitude and resourcefulness. I also appreciate the fact that you've shared this. Hopefully it will help many people realize not only about disability insurance but also about what we can do when we don't give up. Thank you for an outstanding Hub!
This hub literally moved me to tears. It's so raw and heartbreaking but I must agree with you dear writer that the lessons learned are invaluable.
Very well written piece of real life and the reality of what can happen to anyone. I'm sometimes a wise old frog and gleaned a few nuggets from what you said and what you didn't do. One has to do with you distancing yourself from your family and friends. I believe that was a mistake. Your welfare should have overshadowed your embarrassment about the situation you found yourself in. To me, and maybe only to me, when you find yourself in a sticky wicket that is what family is all about. That is also when one can discover who their true friends are and not just their fair weather friends.
Don't take what I say as criticism please because it isn't intended to be.
Some people are homeless by choice which perplexes me to no end, you were not. A circle of events engulfed you which caused you to make some hard choices dear heart. I have to think that now you are a stronger person for having to experience what you went through. Life's lessons can be brutal. Some people let it beat them down and they give up. Kudos to you for having the strength to lift yourselves up again, having learned one of the keys to life. I did pick up on your undertone about making a new life where you don't overextend yourself because you want more and bigger stuff.
Congratulations on your ability to recover and also for having learned things many people never can fathom.
Voted up and awesome.
Voted up. I had a cousin who went through something similar. This was a moving hub.
Things you need to know about Disability Insurance....
An accident is only one for 3 months, you must be checked by Doctor, Be Tottally Disabled, and not be collecting any other income, a Doctor must be stating the Total Disability, and you have either a 6 month, 12 month or 2 yr Disability Insurance, oh and you also have to get the waiting period too. Could be 7days, 14 days, or even 30days... Then after that time, your Disability Insurance will cover you at your designated cash, never more then what you make.... WC comes first and cannot receive both. But its good to know for out of work injuries. Some jobs will pay you if you take their shirt and long term disability, do so if they allow it...or offer it. Then you need to keep it all handy. Keep good records and get Doctors to fill out forms correctly. Doctors need to do that right in order to get paid. Some supplemental Insurance is really cheap and you buy it cheap and as time goes by, the change the terms of the plan and the coverage within today times of what it would pay. Stuff sold many years ago are still good today as long as you know who to call if you need the coverage... AD & D is incase you lost limbs and can help if you need it. Any death resulting from an accident must die within 180 days and that would be considered AD&D and is pretty cheap... life Insurance for the already sick has terms that you must understand. You buy it, and say your looking for a term of 2 yrs, if they dies before the waiting period you get your money back plus maybe 10%... If they die after the waiting period you get face value. Get these things early in life, dont wait till you cant purchase it.
Im not promoting anything here...
I am unemployed and soon to be homeless, and got disabled from my job and barely get WC to pay me, and losing Unemployment and had my first 26 weeks stolen from me from a man in Jacksonville Florida who is Satans Son... And he is getting off scotts free from this theft, and is to never be trusted. David Allen ORourke, if you see he is homeless, ignore and dont feel sorry for him, he made his lifes Bed and now has to live with it...
Dont take handout from anyone while homeless like friends or even family, they will lie and charge you interested and say the gift was a loan. I dont care who they are, dont do it. Dont trust that name either. He is certainly the Devils Child. Does everything against Bible Laws and Bible Principals....
Excellent piece.
My wife, Pam, was homeless for more than two years, but with very few belongings after being forced out of the house by her then-husband of more than 20 years. (He kept/stole the home, land, vehicles, horses, dogs, kids--literally everything.)
For much of her "out" time, she lived with a rather dysfunctional male companion in a 3-man dome tent, ducking Ranger Rick, floating down a desert wash in a flash flood in the middle of the night, coming close to death more than a few times.
She was 45 years of age when we met in a laundromat in Tonopah, Nevada...and we've been hooked at the hip ever since, 15 years and counting....
My love, you are a rare flower indeed! Truly a woman with the heart of a saint and the face of an angel.
It is virtually unheard of in this day and age, where a beautiful woman will actually stick it out through tough times with her husband, instead of divorcing him and either running back to daddy or finding a wealthier man with fancy living accomodations.
In my opinion, most women do not take their wedding vows very seriously (these days) and the "for better or worse" clause is not something they will abide by. I never knew that a woman like you could exist in America today. Sure, there were great women from past generations (my grandmother being one of them) that kept their promises and knew what real sacrifice was, but I thought they were either dead or dying.
You really do give me hope, kitten, just when I thought all hope was lost. No, it is you, who is the breath of fresh air...a cool, pure, refreshing stream in an otherwise stagnant marshland.
Thank you Lone Ranger,
Sometimes beauty can be both a curse and a blessing at the same time. Beauty can open many doors, but in the end, you still have to pay for everything you get....one way or another.
Besides, everyone gets older and beauty fades. What remains is what you actually are and that person could be very vain and nasty. Some of the most beautiful women are also some of the most unhappy and jealous of every new crop of 18 year olds...LOL!
Your hub is touching and very close to reality.You are a brave girl.I m happy that your situation changed.It is my pleasure to follow you.
Bhawana
I doubt your beauty will ever fade, my dear. I think your external beauty is only surpassed by your inner glow. Beauty of this type never fades and the man who sees this will be blind to the onset of age.
Be well, my dove, and take heart in knowing that the new crop of 18-year old "hard bodies" has nothing on you and I seriously doubt their character development will be as deep, rich, and delightful as yours has become.
An amazing story of survival. Wow.
Thanks for the article, I too have been "homeless" a lot of it closer to the borderline experience of yours where it's not extremely destitute however there really should be legislation that allows protection from dangerous climate conditions, with or without ID citizenship etc. You might like this picture link of a bilingual effort for sensibility >> //i1010.photobucket.com/albums/af222/Impose_Cures_Obese-Riches/REGAIN/u32.jpg
Good luck to you and your husband, Cures
A huge wake up call, I am very sorry you went through it, very humbled by you and your husband's dedication to one another and survival, I think far too many of us would accept a bad situation rather than take a risk to change what's going on for them, that you were able to overcome your situation is nothing short of amazing and inspirational. Thank you for sharing.
so glad to read your story.At least you survive together and that is the most important thing in life.Living in car is interesting too.I had a metaxeirismena aytokinita and it is quiet wide and good for travel.
so lucky to you you had each other!
Magnolia:
This was certainly a very moving and heart wrenching true story at that. I'm terribly sorry that yourself and spouse had to suffer such anguish. No human,or animal for that matter should have to go through such unnecessay suffering, whether it's difficult times or not. As you mentioned this is not your fault. However too many people are just too hung up on themselves and when it comes down to helping people in need-all it boils down to is selfishness and greed. Our country should be doing a lot more than they are doing for folks who are in homeless situations and the like. Also besides disability insurance, it is really imperative to make sure you have a good health insurance policy. I'm glad that you have overcome your past hardship. I voted this article UP, as well as awesome. Great job!
JL
JLboweden,
Thank you for reading my hub, I appreciate it. You know what they say,aversity is a great teacher, and what does not kill you will make you stronger. Although at the time, I did not even think about things like this. Everyday I worried that I would never again have a normal life.
One thing I did think about is that just a 100 years ago people did not have running water or electricity or indoor plumbing. They did not have AC or central heating. I would keep telling myself stuff like that, and made up my mind that I was no worse off than those people and they survived.
All I know is that you can end up living in a tent easier than you think. In fact, in third world countries this is the norm. In Africa they are still living in mud huts in some areas. Of course they don't live in a storage shed when it is 30 below zero either, but it just goes to show that human beings can survive a lot of difficult things and come out okay on the other side.
In the end, I learned how to save money BIG TIME. That in itself is a survival skill.
If I won the lottery, I would bulld homeless shelters and animal shelters because no human OR animal should have to suffer.
Read your story and can relate to everything. My situation is - I'm a single 61 yr female. Lost my job 2 yrs ago and then was diagnosed with a severe blood clot. My father & step mother took me in but very soon I felt so unwanted. I tried to fly under the radar (read 52 books). The straw that broke everything was when my step mother accused me of stealing some diamond she had (which she had misplaced) and she found it. I left and went to my son in Houston. I stayed 2 nights and was berated so horribly I thought about suicide. I'm currently in a motel, but I have a small SVU (its paid for) thank God. I guess I'm going to have to live out of it. I'm so scared. My son describes the situation as follows: It's like everyone is own the "Titantic Economy Boat" and they are having to get into the small boats and no one wants a swimmer to try to get into their boat for fear of capsizing. So instead - you just have to swim for your life. I'm called various agencies - so far its a bust! I'm thankful - my children are grown (2 sons) in their own small boats & do not want me around. Any and all suggestions are welcomed.
Dear Dazed, thanks for leaving a comment, I appreciate your input.
You are obviously an intelligent woman, 62 and computer literate should work for you. If you can still work, I would suggest that you look for a job in the medical field in home care or a nursing home. These places are usually willing to give an older woman a chance.
I don't know your family situation, but it is rare that a child would not be willing to give their mother a helping hand. The only time I see kids turning their backs on a parent is when drugs or alcohol is involved.
I will pray for you that your circumstances will improve. Good Luck and please take a chance and check out some of those jobs I suggested, you may be very surprised.
It's pathetic that we live in a country of both excess and scarcity. The real problem is every thing we do in life requires income and when that income is gone so is our ability to support ourselves. Everything we do is based on a payment to someone.... mortgage/rent, car, telephone, utilities... all require a constant flow of income. This is a result of a fractional reserve banking system in which all money is loaned into existence. All money is DEBT. And the only people that are truly benefited by DEBT are those at the top of the pyramid scheme. A very select and small number of people. But this is how it is and the only alternative is to get yourself to the top or suffer.
Your case points out exactly how unjust a compassion less system of debt model economic finance can be.
Very well said. You have come really far!
Everyone is a second from fate and could find themselves living on the street. I have helped to families this year by keeping them off the street and finding them a way into a home. Never say it can not happen to you and if it does see it as a chance to learn something and grow by it. What I find most impressive in your story was your ability to stick it out as a couple. So families fail this test and fall apart at the first moment of hardship. Even now I imagine you know what hardship looks like but after what you have been through it seems like nothing now. When I know these comparisons I do not suffer from envy but struggle to understand the lack of sanctuary for all people.
It is truly amazing how we can come back from the brink of darkness. I am pleased you are not lost and forgotten, but through the means of your own intestinal fortitude grappled your way back, only to thrive and live a good life sharing your inspiration here with us . Cheers F.
whats the great deal with that,i have slwpt outdoors many many time,in cold winter on bench,in parks ect, life is a yoyo,i had a beautiful house ,lost it again 5years ago,rented some properties couldn't afford them,now ive bought an old van i made a folded bed in it ,i park where i can pinch some electricity,ive got a mini fridge microwave tv,and also lucky where i park i get wifi so im happy,im 43 now so lets see life is a joke for some,unless we are bless,and im not bless,im the fun and the joker of life,but who cares why should anybody give a toss anyway we all got our problems,if we are in our position thats because we are program this way,we all kind to make the world goes round.
novatatem 3 years ago
wow... this is a moving hub. I feel now a days more than ever that the people who are living a wealthy life turn a blind eye to people who have become homeless. I myself had no idea of the number of people who were homeless in my area until I worked at a park. I let the ones that came to me use the campground facilities, even though I probably would have gotten fired.
Its a good hub,and your story is a harsh reality that people with homes should think about more often.